My Age

I would have to conclude that the worst thing about my age right now is that it does not have much significance. I am 19 and will be turning 20. Neither age can really advance me in any ways. I mean technically, turning 20 will get me into Adult World, although I haven't really had any interest in going there since I was about 17. Another thing that is kind of cool about 20 is that it could sort of be viewed as a stepping stone into my 21st birthday. Either way, when I look back, I think about when I was 16 and wishing I was 18, and then when I was 18 and wishing I was 21. I don't think I will ever feel satisfied with my age. I will either feel too young or too old.

My picture

This photo was taken when I went to Florida for the first time two summers ago. I only got the chance to go to FL once, but I really hope to go again soon. I fell in love with the clear warm water, the lively streets, the great food, and the beautiful wilderness. This particular beach I was on, in the photo, was located on Sanibel Island. This trip meant a lot to me. There were so many firsts for me during this week, including my first time on a plane and the first time I ever saw a real palm tree! I love FL and I love the island.

Statue of Social Consciousness

I just recently came across this statue the other day and I love it so much. I find it so sad, and empowering at the same time. Fascinating...

"Lady Godiva"

"Lady Godiva" by John Collier


"Lady Godiva" is a painting about a woman who rode naked through Coventry England to gain remission of the oppressive taxation imposed by her husband on his peasants below him. John Collier, the artist, focuses on portrait paintings, and I absolutely love his work. I absolutely adore this painting. I love the colors, I love the vulnerability Collier has shown through Godiva, and I love the contrast in the photo. Godiva is sitting up on her strong high horse with her royal blankets and her long thick hair, but she alone is bare and not happy. I find beauty in this painting.

Scary Dream

I already did the prompt for composition about my dreams, but I just woke up from the oddest dream. I just had to write it down.
I don't understand why I am still having nightmares at my age. They were supposed to end at like age 14. Anyway, here is what happened...

It all started on the internet. This man had sent me an email saying he wanted to be my friend, and he seemed very sweet so I added him. Well his profile ended up saying that he had a wife and children so I deleted him off of my friends list and courteously told him why I did it and that it was nothing against him.

Later that night I was leaving the grocery store with my mom, and I happened to get in the car before her. Well a smiling man came up to my door and held it open, and then he took out his key and tried to stab me with it. He was laughing “What? Are you too beautiful for me? You think you are too beautiful?” Apparently this was the guy from the internet, and he was using a fake picture online. I screamed for my mom and she ran into the car and we floored it out of the parking lot.

Later on in my dream I was sitting outside of my house with my father talking to my friend Allen. Allen was telling me that I missed the fireworks, and that they were so beautiful. By this point my father already knew about the stalker and was furious. So what surprised me was when the stalker came up to us and just sat down like he was my friend my dad seemed to like him. Even though I told my dad it was “that guy” he didn’t care and was just laughing and carefree.

The next day back at my house a bunch of crazy stuff went on. I would get random notes. For example, I woke up one morning and there was a bunch of stuff underneath the blanket by my stomach so I lifted the blanket to see what it was. I had a few screwdrivers, duct tape, wrenches, and other random tools laying there with a note that said something like, “You better be ready to use these when you wake up or I will.”

Well I freaked out, got up, saw my brother and his girlfriend and told them we needed to get going. Well all these interferences started to get in the way and I wasn’t able to leave. Finally our power started flickering out and I knew he was near.

After this happened it was a little vague to me, I mainly remember the last part of my dream where I ran outside with two of my friends from this stalker. While I was running he took a quick slice to my shoulder, trying to prevent me from going anywhere I suppose. By this time in the dream I was not in first person, I was watching it as if it were a movie. He also stabbed my two friends, one in the chest and the other in the stomach; he did kill them. Next thing you know I can see myself climbing through the fence.

After that it was all done with and I never heard from him again (which could be because I woke up! Haha)


So please tell me why I am always dreaming that these random men are trying to hurt me, and chasing me, and why they are actually stabbing me in my dream. It is always the same theme, just different weapons, different men, different places. This dream affected me to the point that I was still scared when I woke up and was downstairs. And I am still a little frightened. Hmmm.