Week 1 Posts

Prompt 1: Have you ever made somebody cry?
I believe that each person out there has somehow made somebody cry, whether they made someone cry tears of pain or tears of joy. Personally, I hate to say that I have made many people cry; including my exboyfriends and myself.

I don't know what it is that makes my relationships not work. Maybe I am just too young, maybe I am too naive, or maybe I am just not meant to be with anybody at the moment. My heart is always open which leads it to become viciously attacked. Most of my boyfriends see that I go into a relationship whole hearted and devoted. I like being devoted to somebody, it lets me know that I am making another person happy; possibly someday a special person I will love. Most men see this vulnerability and they figure I will be here for them no matter what. Well what they don't realize is I am a caring person, not stupid. I always end up getting cheated on or lied to, either that or I get a boyfriend who is possessive and obsessed. Either way, they mess up and then realize that they really screwed up. Once they have come back to their senses they want me back, and no matter how much I wish I could just take them back and act like nothing ever happened, I won’t. This leads to tears from the opposite sex. Hopefully I'll be able to find someone who can be as devoted of a person as I am some day.


Prompt 2: Scariest Experience
 I have had my share of scary experiences. Whether it was at age 14 when I realized there were footprints in the bushes right in front of my window, when I was "mudding" in Pennsylvania and my friend almost flipped his Wrangler down a hill with me in it, finding out that my grandmother had Cancer, being forced down and threatened by my exboyfriend, or maybe even from a nightmare I used to have. They are all scary to me, but my most recent experience happened yesterday.

I was headed to my friend's house for breakfast while it was lightly misting outside. I went around a bend on the road only minutes from my neighborhood and I spun out of control. While I was spinning all I could think about was how helpless and at mercy I was. I ended up sliding into a ditch and my side of the car slammed against some trees and shrubbery. It was so terrifying to me, even though I managed to only bump my shoulder.

Prompt 3: I regret....
 I have learned not to be so naive and trusting in strangers. I have learned that you can't change someone for the better, they have to change their selves. You can give them the tools for a better change, but that is it.

I spent a year trying to show him how I view love. I tried to show him what made me happy, and how to balance our happiness together.

But no matter how hard you try you cannot really show anyone anything. You can put it in front of their face, but they can just look right through it. You can act emotional to someone, but only that person can choose which way to take it.

I have learned not to spend all of my time with just one person, hoping something will bud and become beautiful. I have learned to only spend my money on me. I have learned that something beautiful can be taken away in the flick of a switch.

And I have learned that life goes on.

With or without him.